Lawns

We've been feeding nuts to squirrels and building trust with them

We leave our garbage open because we love racoons and dislike our neighbors

How did the ice cream trucker driver get that job? Does he own that truck?

Weed killer can be used to create little dead grass crop circles in your yard

A dispute over property lines and a dead tree that the neighbor says is a "Hazard"

The neighbor's cat killed a bunny in front of the neighborhood kids. They're all crying now and all we can think to do is yell "YOU'RE EITHER A BUNNY OR A CAT IN THIS WORLD!!" at them from the window.

We hate your novelty mailbox. It is not clever. It fills us with hate.

We filled a riding mower with nitrous oxide... it just broke.

possum vs. opossum

We're not converting the garage into anything, we just like to sit here quietly in lawn chairs alone.